Delicious

stylish

2009-05-18T02:26:00.000-07:00

Me by Jadeloli featuring Miss Selfridge Clothing

This approprialty sums me up in a simple materialistic way.
A possible non simple one is one its way :)

Ive been working hard today, or, at least a good pace for my brain.
I got home this morning from my loves place - which took around an hour when usually it takes 20 minutes in traffic due to flooding of my local area - and decided instead of venturing out in dangerous weather to uni i would stay at home and get stuff done.

Opening todays date in my diary and grabbing my new favourite bright pink pen i listed the assignments i have left and the random assortment of things i have left to do today. I have worked through a few of them so far and still enjoyed a day at home in lots of clothes to keep me warm. Im pretty determined to get my university stuff done. Im a little stressed about the idea of finishing my radio broadcasting course on top of the uni work - but i'll get there hopefully.

Im looking on the bright side and i want to keep looking to the positive things in life.
For instance im interviewing a great band this saturday, i have a event this friday night, i will get things done and im working a good amount of time to live happily and not so poorly next week.

This isnt a very immense blog - i shall update with a better one soon.

Just a bit of a vent in my public diary.

Jade

drowning

2009-05-16T00:40:00.001-07:00

this is all i want for my birthday i've decided...
I must have it.
Its calling me.

Love in a bag

im very materialistic at times.

Blame my partner.

joy

2009-05-12T23:47:00.000-07:00

photo by ChasingECHOES

I'm not to sure where my inspiration went in 2009. I'm not sure if it left me before i even stepped into being in 2009 or somewhere along the way. But i think it's pretty much gone.
I really want it back. Isn't it inspiration enough that i want it back? It should be, especially to myself.
Yet, im still sick and procrastinating.
I don't want to be this way.

Im doing my very best at stopping this plummeting into 'nothing' (it's not that it's nothing, but i'd rather nothing than this.)

Achievments and lists must be made,
They will be posted.
because, well why not.
Getting inspired only lasts a little while specially when ur sick and you are pretty restricted.

This little bunny up above though - she or he gives me some hope. A simple photo.
I don't know why bunnies can touch my heart in a way no other can.
I loved a bunny once. I know what it means to love a bunny and have one love you back.
It's strange how a love between an animal and human can be so memorable and a cherished past, and nothing like loving another human can sometimes be compared to it.
Just thinking of a bunny and how it may think or live inside its head interests me.
I think they're very positive and happy.
They're like a little bundle or furry joy.

Just thinking about holding one makes me happy inside.
They're so caring and loving if you love them back.
No questions asked, they just love.

Jade

ONE MONTH

2009-05-05T19:59:00.000-07:00

co-workers by moosekleenex

I was writing this blog on all the things ive been doing to make myself feel better and how im not going to let anything get in my way. Well it didnt last very long...I got sick (again). I have tonsilitis again, but on the other tonsil. Im restricted back to home and my warm pjs, bed and laptop. I havent been outside except to go the doctors. I think i may have gotten paler, if possible!

I started going to the Gym last week again though, i paid my monthly bill to go for TWO DAYS. before i got ill, with some other thing for a few days. Pretty shitted off. Although those days at the gym where fantastic!! I have obviously gotten unfit again from being sick all the time :( BUT i want to get back to where i was and even better! Louise has introduced me to an old love of mine, skipping. Man does that make you work hard. Our regime will be awesome. When we're in holidays i bet we'll go all the time. Holidays seem to be the time were we get to do the things for us the most.

Also, on the updating of my life in general. I have started the next four unit to the certificate 3 in Broadcasting i started late last year. The certificate is in conjunction with the CBAA (Community Broadcasting Association of Australia) and i was super excited about starting it last year and found it easy to handle as i was in Uni holidays when i started and had nothing else to study, i was jobless and was doing barely anything at all. This time around im studying and doing assignments for end of semester, i have a job which i go to when i dont have to go to uni, i have 3 shows for radio while seeing family, friends and my love. It's proving a little more diffucult - while having tonsilitis. BUT i'm determined to finish this certificate within the year (If the station can organise itself...) I'm also determined to get my assignments done for univerisity. ( I wish i had wireless so i cud "rest in bed" while working as well )

In a little over 3 weeks time i will be turning 19 and im trying to also plan my birthday bash at one of my favourite places in the city, Fridays. A Saturday night with all my friends on the river of Brisbane. Sounds good to me. I have a massive list and i have to organise it - argh lets stress out about some shit some more. I'm going out that night, healthy or sick. I'm actually kind've excited to turn 19. I have my head in the right space i feel for where i expected myself to be by now, travelling and finishing studing in the next 2 years as well as all my other hopes and dreams. It'll all be done.

Random Update blog..

Chillout Continues.

2009-04-28T21:51:00.000-07:00

Art by Nuken8 that i found ages ago
and scared me...i cmntd on it and asked
if he knew anyone who looked like this?
hair or anything. He said no. I think
it looks like me, just a little bit...

I am currently pursuing happiness.
Isn't everyone?
And if your not...WHY NOT?
Life is too short. Yes what a cliche'!
But my life is too short, the days are too short to do everything i want to do.
I have been pursuing happiness for a few days now, ( i always pursue it..but 2009 hasn't been very inspiring and that is my fault) Im over the bullshit. 2008 was great. FANTASTIC. I kept my New Years Resolution and 2009 has had the same one. But the effect seems to have warn off. Well im not going to let this rising numbness of studying consume me. Not again. I have been studying for far too long, i know that i probably need a break. But im not far off. 4 months has gone pretty quickly im sure the rest of the year and a half im stuck here will go by pretty quickly too.

Lets get inspired:

I dont care that i've posted this link before, but im sure there are more new stories in there, go check out these beautiful comments by those that follow gala it's beautiful.

Try loving yourself and if you can't dive right into it start appreciating that one thing about yourself you love and know makes you YOU. It can be inside you, outside, a way of thought, but let yourself embrace that one thing. And when you get down think about that one thing. It's amazing the tiny steps you take that actually all of sudden make you realise. "Hey im GREAT!"

Organise better! Im trying to do this. I think if maybe your life was a little more ordered, even if its the lists you write in your diary or where you put certain things your day will flow alot better.

Lets learn about the art of ZEN. Even if walking the path of enlightenment isn't your thing, it's a great thing and maybe you'll learn something interesting! I meditate to get to sleep by focusing on my breathing - it works wonders.

Love Notes to Yourself or Reminders to make your day that something extra. I've started doing this this week! Write yourself a beautiful thing at the bottom of your diary day, or a reminder, or a note to spoil yourself.

For example today's note in my diary: Finish something and FEEL accomplished. Buy yourself a coffee and enjoy it!

I know it may seem a little ridiculous but you can choose what you write to yourself, you know what you want to hear more than anyone else and sometimes its better hearing it from yourself than anyone else. (Currently completing art assignment - feeling awesome!)

Be a little vain at times, im not saying ALL the time because its just annoying to others, but let yourself be concious of what you look like cause you'll probably work on yourself and feel better, celebrate you. [Even if its working on the bits no one else sees ;) ]

Remind the others around you that you adore, love, cherish, admire their style, eyes, love, face, body, brain, voice etc. They'll feel good, you'll feel good.

[Im sitting in the library at University...2 boys were next to me...i needed so badly to pee! But i have so much stuff everywhere (im taking up a whole table worth of bags and books!) they were so kind to make sure my stuff was safe! My guardian strangers. Its wonderful. If you can..do that when you can! Be a guardian of others even if you don't know them! *when i got back, they joked about how the fended off at least 6 people...my guardian ninja strangers!]

Borrow and lend things to your friends. It'll make you feel refreshed - style wise. Your friends are over that object your over yours, but they dont own what you have and you dont own what the have. Swap occasionly. it'll feel great. Even if these things are old!

LISTEN TO MINISTRY OF SOUND CHILLOUT CLASSICS.

current inspiration, Reed photos

"nothing can come close to this familiar feeling"

Chillout

2009-04-26T16:33:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday... by Jadeloli featuring Alexander Wang tank tops

Click the link above to see my polyvore account...its wonderfully materialistic and time consuming. I blame louise and rachel. Bad influences of the internets.
Anyway, this is one of my latest sets and i simply love making them to put them in my blog and also look at them and long for clothes such as i use in them. I shall never own most or any of these things. It's a little sad, but also fun. A friend of my parents recently suggested i cud have her blue docs that dont fit her and might fit me - i was in a state of pleasure. I must pursue this. I have always wanted docs.. i remeber this time when i was a child probably 8 and dad had docs and i used to put them and they were SO GIANT i cud barely lifted them, but i wanted them as school shoes..but ofcourse, whats the point my feet wud grow id waste all that money of shoes id never wear again. But now is the time to own them..but i dont have money. I hope these shoes being hopefully donated to me will fit. <3

Daft Punk are one of my favourite bands, hands down ( My lastFM acount told me so :s haha) Well anyway, i love looking them up, seeing what they're doing - ya know the normal teen girl stalking a favourite band.. and the news as you might have read from the link above is a wonderful little bit of news. Daft punk are doing the score to the new movie Tron 2.0, a remake is what i understand, from the movie Disney put out in the 80's called Tron. This is going to be amazing. The daft boys are AMAZING. Listen to them - everyone knows them, also watch their movies, although Interstella 5555 wasnt made by them animation wise it is their story their concepts and its beautiful. As well as Electroma. Which. i might say is heart breakingly slow and wonderfully consuming of all your feelings. With no music by daft punk and no actual talking it is one of the most amazing movies i feel i own. Most dont make it the first 15 minutes of slow movie - watching a car drive along in the middle of desert america. BUT ITS FANTASTIC. Visually and Morally stimulating. I just love them. Can't wait for 2011 and Disney's new Tron.

Through high school i never really felt right, i never felt as though i REALLY belonged there. Maybe this is due to he nature of my high school, it was a private school that, though placed in not such a wonderful area, thought it self one of the best of th best - while the 'best of the best' schools looked down on us really. It's a system of private schools, i just don't understand it. Unfortuneatly, if you graduate at one of these schools it will follow you around for the rest of eternity; or so it feels. Well High school was never pleasant - i don't have many fond memories and the ones i do have a hold dear - but high school seems to keep coming back in some form and shape, usually some bitch all my friends had tried to forget about. The funny thing about high school is i promised id never be friends with people from high school bar one person and currently my closest friends are from high school but i never really hung out with them it just happened after school. When we were free to feel and be and look how ever we please. Instead of pristine blazered iron starched machines made to go to university and act like a snob who had more money than anyone else in the world. It was a blur of green red and grey. And it was ugly. Fortunatly, however, i have escaped most of the people who harrased me, bothered me, made me sad and feel inferior. They tried for almost a year or more to get to me, to hurt me still AFTER high school. But i feel i was the better person probably becuase i didnt call when i was drunk and leave horrible messages on their phones about how they broke my heart like they did to me, i didnt attack people on social networking sites, i didnt sob to people they were friends with about how they hurt me; i didnt associate myself with their friends nor them, but they did. I have escaped. I feel free, lighter and happier that things are not so stressful as they were. But my close friend hasn't quite escaped, she thought she had, but she hasn't. Her opponent is one of mine also. Opponent, yes, i mean enemy. Becuase that's what this persons life is; a game. This one opposition doesn't give up so easily and has gotten nastier. I know the right side will win, becuase its honest and decent. But i hate looking at people like they are my opposition, my enemy, it feels crude and mean. But sadly it's true. I want this to be a great blog full of inspiration and equallity, but its humanity - no one will ever be equal, not even in the animal kingdom are thinsg equal. But i feel a lil inspired by this act of cruelness becuase i know my mate and me we're better - i dont' care how egotistical it is (this new egotism is most likely spurred on by my boyfriend, but its healthy sometimes) - we're stronger, we're determined, we're happier, healthier, stressless - unless assessment inhibits this haha- but our lives are so much better off and although it is sad to see people havent moved on, grown up or realised private school was only 5 years of our wonderful 100 years of living (hopefully) haha and i know that my mate and i are going to be successful, inspirational to others and each other, while enjoying our wonderful lives. Thats a bit of inspiration for me. And it shud be for her too.

Hair dye - So i have had blue hair now for 4 months going on 5 and i love my blue hair it's awesome but i am getting tired of it being so horrible feeling - poor bleached hair, it's slowly turning to dust im sure! Hahaha. I spend a shit load on hair products and try to maintain it but it's pretty impossibly some days. Anway, i've been saying for a few months once my regrowth gets bad this time round i will go back to my hair colour. But really! I don't think i can go from blue back to BROWN. It wud look strange and just drab. Blah. Soooo, ive been looking at some colour i cud try out - i want to go back to a natural colour so that it feels better and also becuase i am growing my hair out so that its wonderful and long :). Im thinking a hazelnut with streaks..i'm not too sure. It's so hard to give up this crazy hair colour. I cannot imagine having a normal hair colour anymore. Unless it was black and had some crazy chunks in it. I really cant think of what i wud want. I know that probably shud mean i shudnt change it - but its the gross feeling of dust hair i want to get rid off :( Oh the woes of an 18 year old.

This is an intensly long blog - i have been just updating it at random over the last few days. Hense the ice cream paragraph dot points.

This week is my inspiration week. To my regular little commenters i.e. my two closest friends hahaha post me something inspirational in those cmts. Kay. Lets help each other out and make each other happier. :) We need it specially in examish times.

Cupcake! Eat one this week to make u feel special inside. Love Jade

tiltuesday?!

2009-04-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

Ive got only love for you by Jadeloli featuring Lanvin flat shoes

Feeling Happier today.
Want this set above.
Miss Rachel & Daniel.
Love Credit cards - my final Anne Rice book is on its way <3
Made Bunny ears - stay tuned, beautiful pictures by Louise soon.
Love cuddles..don't like sleeping alone..<3 Tom.

awesome earrings

and go here

Wanting Shins tee-shirt..
Might just buy it.
Oh wasting my Italy Savings...
Never mind. Ill wear the shirt in Italy :)

Dyed my hair DARK blue last night. It looks much better again.
:) I really love my blue hair.
I need more photos of me with it before it is dissapeared and covered with something new..
Feel like a change? Yes i am.

Want a bunny...desperatly.
To love.

Its like a tilt but TUESDAY

burgh

2009-04-19T23:00:00.000-07:00

I've decided that recently alot of my life has been really really saddening.
And im not sure why.

I mean things have been good, i have wonderful people and things in my life, but they dont seem to be so strong when your really full of sad and your eyes do that blurry thing and only see bad.

University is really bringing me down.
It feels too repetitive.
It's not really inspiring me to do anything with my life.

Im guna find me some inspiration again.

xx

run away

2009-04-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

Alone, i travel by Jadeloli featuring Carolina Bucci jewelry

Ive been cleaning out my room all day - clothes, junk, rubbish in general.
It feels good.
My room is kinda clean.

Im in not such a great mood.
I uploaded an assignment a day ealier than i was supposed to last week and i get this email telling me my unit co-ordinator never got it.
I am so nervous that im going to fail because of technical diffuculties.
When i worked and stressed out pretty hard core for it.

Sadness.

Consumption

2009-04-06T23:34:00.001-07:00

I am currently writing my next essay, for a music elective, on Music via social networking.
I have facebook open on a tab, email and delicioius, while i just made a set on polyvore, looked at last Fm and am now writing a blog. I share the computer room with mum. She just got home. Opened her facebook account and is now social networking with people online, to turn to me, the daughter going mental from essays on social networking but cant stop using them either...and asks me a question about how to send a friend to another friend OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
argghhhhh

I HATE YOU QUT FOR THE INTERNET LIFE.
Your sending me mental

Inpire.

2009-04-06T03:07:00.000-07:00

Im so tired.
Exhausted in fact.
For no good reason.

My body is incredibly sore. A trip to the chriopracter is needed!
2 Assessments down 8 to go until the end of the term.
Which really isnt too bad.

My mind is in another place.

Short blog.
Ifeltlikeit!

Breathe Me

2009-04-02T19:50:00.000-07:00

Natural by Jadeloli featuring Forever21 bracelets

While i am still working on the many assignments i have piling up on my desk i am still focusing upon the social bookmarking assignment. Now discussing folksonomy and the many confussing aspects of tagging. I hope i do okay in this assignment...
I really want to do better this term. I want to better and better myself every semester. So far it has worked. But this term i have really let my mind wonder. Back on Track i go.
A list of Goals and objectives is soon to be thought up, written down and maybe posted up here. For enthusiasm to kick in.

New polyvore set..can you tell im procrastinating a little bit.
I desire everything in this set desperatly! I want to wear it. i think its adorable.

Cheers.

Identify

2009-03-31T21:07:00.000-07:00

Doing assignments on blogs really is strange..
There is a whole world of bloggers - in fact i feel like everyone blogs, or reads blogs, responds or micro blogs. It's incredibly scary to think about how closely connected we all are. We may have friends who are friends with a real life friend but on line. This whole concept is now terrifying. I have always just thought okay Internet - do the things i like reading, creating etc and then thats it. I don't even think i could become that involved with the internet that my whole life revolves around it...unfortuneatly seeing as i have an assignment on networking etc my life does currently..This kinda blows. Way to much stuff out there. While my links and useages and urls or whatever have to be valid..how the fuck am i sposed to know hey. User generated stuff could be all a load of shit but so convincing that i believe it. I spose thats why im studying persuasive techniques and writing as well but this whole course is starting to intertwine with the same concepts and i feel like im going to come out of the 3 year course with a bachelor in social networking. QUT "for the real world" - ONLINE.

I do enjoy, however, the fact that i can do and connect with all the different communities in my own time - but oh god your sapping any goodness i see in it from making me write 3000 words about it.

Yet here i am...sposed to writing this assignment on networking and digital communication...WRITING A BLOG.

I want to have a fucking picnic or do something real. With adventure. Not online.
I want to breathe non air conditioned air and see the world. not just on flikr.

Life we used to love

2009-03-30T21:10:00.000-07:00

*&^% you. - by Jadeloli on Polyvore.com

Its been a while since the last blog, but things are looking up, i think only because i am making them this way. I have been kinda avoiding everything in life of late - and that is never good - in the end you just make yourself more stressed. So today i had a good sleep got some carob covered licorices and am making these not done assignments into pretty much done assignments/drafts. I promised myself i wouldn't let these thinsg build up on me. but i still did. Its always hard getting back into uni work or any work after a huge break. You get comfortable.

Working on my social networking assignment right now..Annotations on delcious are kinda frustrating... Going to get it done though!

Also - Dylan Moran tomorrow night! YAY.
Pretty cool.

Blogsoon.
x

Show me something new

2009-03-19T17:12:00.000-07:00

Alone

"There's a beautiful view
From the top of the mountain
Every morning I walk towards the edge
And throw little things off"

Lots of small things can have huge affects upon a persons direction in life, the way they deal with certain aspects of life and how in turn they feel about themselves.
The smallest gesture towards someone who has had a horrible day can go horribly wrong.
The tiniest problem that is your burden put upon someone else can overload the other persons woes.
If that person, however, stopped before they spoke they may save themselves the anger, the sadness the frustration and further more the awkward hurt that is left behind after that small thing has hurtled and grown into something much larger and fiercer.
They then have to deal with the ugly moment and feeling left behind.
That elephant in the room.
But maybe, only one out of these two people feel this way.
The other is too arrogant and proud.
The other is cut down and feels small.

Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.

"On their way down
I follow with my eyes 'til they crash
Imagine what my body would sound like
Slamming against those rocks"

Happiness can be found in corners of your life you didn't know were there.
Don't be too scared to venture out far.
I can't give up.
Ever.

Goodmorning

2009-03-16T21:37:00.000-07:00

interstella 5555 - how i wish to own and treasure you

Tonal Variety

2009-03-10T22:53:00.000-07:00

So i have been hitting the books pretty hardcore, trying to work my way through all the study i have to constantly be doing! I mean im doing pretty well so far :) which im rather proud of. I've never studied so hard before ever.

I am finding it diffucult to choose a focus topic for my music elective though. I mean it's really vague because i can choose anything i please to talk about. So no direction = too many things to question about. Plus if i choose something that hasnt got a large resource avenue im pretty much screwed. Oh what should i do!?
While my new media subject is just as vague allowing me to choose a topic related to web2.0 but whatever avenue i wish. Which doesnt help alot either. I'll get there though.

I was looking forward to St Patricks day next tuesday, as im from Ireland, i was going to celebrate for the first time - as this is the first time im 18 while the holiday will be going on - BUT i got paid a very sad wage today and right now have no money ALREADY. Well actually i have $4.30 to live on a day until My next pay.. I mean i can live on $3. Its just hard. Especially considering travel to uni, petrol for the car as well as just general drink/food i usually buy. I duno maybe i wont spend anything and ill be okay for st pats day - but i was going to make an outfit but i cant even afford to buy material. Its looking pretty bleak at the moment. But i dont feel so bleak. I feel really great.

I did just eat chocolate though; i am sugar and lactose intolerant. So i probably wont be feeling good in a few hours. Blurgh. Lol.

I want to write something inspirational right now but im not sure what to write.
I just wish happiness upon people.
That a positive aura transfixes itself upon those i love and even those i dont know.
Life is just way to short to have a short fuze.

Being positive is whats making me work through these hours of study.

Love Jade

Id do anything for..

2009-03-09T00:04:00.000-07:00

A BUNNY!
I want a new baby bunny.
ALOT.
Just looking at photos of them make me go all warm and soft inside.
I seriously love them.
I miss Floppsey (My last one..)

Dear Diary,

2009-03-05T01:47:00.000-08:00

do i really want to keep doing this for a living?

My heart is fighting itself right now.

Oh god. I thought i knew what i wanted to do for a living
Dont tell me im lost again world!?

Tilt

2009-03-04T20:31:00.000-08:00

Cold showers on a hot day right after the gym! - so refreshing
Anime - new movies, new directors, new sons of favourite directors...being a nerd...
New shorts - omg shorts at cotton on FIT ME and they are fucking awesome!
Having the confidence to wear denim shorts - i feel really great in them
The people i work with except 2 dudes! - Everyone is so nice to me and im really enjoying work
Feeling really smart! - yay for uni
having a great day with rachel chilling in the guild bar lol lol
FUTURE MUSIC FESTIVAL - BASEMENT JAXX IS SO CLOSE
vodka - enough said?
being able to happily write a tilt and MEAN IT.
The shins
Trying to get people to listen to the shins
the way the shins make me feel
THE SHINS! - oh i mentioned that already...*cough*
Stars - fantastically orgasmic
The idea of owning blue high top nike's..it makes me melt inside. i want them
Knowing ive nearly completed all anne rice books.
Oganising my birthday when its months away! - stay tuned

Honourable mentions: Caramel in drinks, vodka lime and sodas, sexpo, Zach and miri make a porno, Seth rogan, Bows on tops, Sewing bags for friends, iron on cup cakes, being home alone randomly for one night, subway, Having great days, Missing friends (its a sucky thing but it really shows you how much they mean to you when you cant go 2 days not seeing them *cough*louise*cough*, Having blue hair - one of the best decisions ive ever made, earning money, inspirational moment inlife to look back on

Delight in us

2009-03-02T19:57:00.000-08:00

Delights - by Jadeloli on Polyvore.com

Because this is exactly who i am with clothes on.

Im for you...

2009-02-26T15:02:00.000-08:00

Is there a cure for this pain
Maybe I should have something to eat
But food wont take this emptiness away
Im hungry for you my love

Well I made it through another day
In my cold room
On scraps and pieces left behind
I survive on the memory of you

All Of me is all for you
Youre all I see
All of me is all for you
Youre all I need

Is there a remedy for waiting
For loves victorious return
Is there a remedy for hating
Every second that Im without you

All of me is all for you
Youre all I see
All of me is all for you
Youre all I need

All this life is all for love
Its the only road Ill choose
And every street and avenue
Only one will lead me back to you

One Love, One Love, One Love
One Love, One Love, One Love

Veridis Quo

2009-02-23T18:50:00.000-08:00

Lately my life has been a bit of a shit storm.

The usual; starting uni again, figuring out classes, readings, money, new work rosters and fitting in time for friends and loved ones. Unfortuneatly not fitting in loved ones if they are not loving you currently.

I feel like i have warpped straight back into grade 9 - 11 choose any week or month between then in my life and compared it to now it wud roughly estimate out to SAME BULLSHIT, SAME IMMATURITY, SAME RIDICULOUS CIRCUMSTANCES.

In the end i have grown, i am a better person, i am stronger.
So fuck off.
Fuck off to the sadness, fuck off to immature situations and people, fuck off to jealousy and anger, fuck off to repition, fuck off to dullness, to hurt and pain, fuck off to stupid men, fuck off to stupid girls, fuck off. Thats what i have to say to you.
FUCK OFF.

I dont need it.

I dont like it when people think they know me and what my life is and how i run it and who i am. I dont know most of these things so fuck off. Im my own person if you want to know these things i'll tell you but no assumptions of what is going on with me will be passed if i have anything to say about it.
Oh and guess what i do.

fuck off.

Inspiration

2009-02-18T00:09:00.000-08:00

LOVE

Read this comments to this blog.

Its real. I tell you love is real.

http://galadarling.com/article/icing-stories-love#comment

CHANGE

2009-02-10T14:52:00.000-08:00

Change is something that i require in my life quite frequently. I feel the need to throw things of mine away after a certain couple of months - always giving a third of my clothes i dont wear away to salvos or such places or friends. I feel the need to change things i do, or change something in my room, i feel the need to change house, change suburb, change my whole life. From the smallest thing to the biggest thing. This usually comes about through sadness or anger or frustration when things arent good. I change my room - it's never a big change but a change none the less. This time something major has come from this need to change.

I have one wall in my tiny bedroom that is covered in paintings, writing, hand prints from years ago, from song lyrics, to secret messages only friends and i know are there, there are names on that wall that have been loved, hated and burnt (my mate and i were weird) there have been confessions of secrets on this wall that no one usually can notice, there is sadness, there is youth, there is apathy, there is happiness, there is blood, there is sweat, mostly there are tears - of joy and of complete loss, there are images that inspire, there are memories that sting, there are memories that bring a smile, there are stages of my life only i saw, there are stages of my life that were dark and "dark", there are new begings, there are lost friends, there are stories of love and sailing away, there are "poems". There on my wall is a 14 year old girl who wanted to practice and find her talent, to be understood, to be accepted, for those to look at her and see beauty, who tried but never quiet hard enough, there is a 15 year old girl who wanted nothing but to be alone and was full of hatred, there is a 16 year old girl who was fun and bubbly but closed off to the world, there is a 17 year old girl who loved, who hurt, who grew, who learnt, who lost, who found, who began smiling again, a girl who made MANY mistakes, who was heartless to those she cared nothing for, who was finally warmed again, who changed her life, who did amazing things, who worked hard, who realised finally thinsg would be okay, who pushed herself, who realised it was time to stop negative thoughts, who got drunk, who got sick, who finished school, who traveled and so much more. There only a few very small times on this wall where an 18 year old wrote words of inspiration, who started to cover over certain sections, who can see a brighter furture, who can understand any of the secret messages that now make her laugh and make her cry, who realised respect was due to everyone back then but is proud she learnt her ways, who can see all the love she has felt, all the hatred and feels none of it now, who has experienced so much, a girl who has grown from the age of 14 to the girl she is now.

It's time for the biggest change for me. It's time to open up my room again - it won't feel so cluttered, bad things won't be there, a new start, a fresh look on room and outlook (even if this already began a long time ago) So many people have said not to do it but i feel i have to.

That is all right on that right now.

Something much more important.
My heart and soul goes out to the fire fighters, people of Vic, Red Cross and volunteers fighting the fires and helping people, to those who have lost their loved ones, and also to the thousands of animals dying and trying to fight for life.
Poor Koala :(

Many Hats

2009-02-07T21:58:00.000-08:00

Sunshine Coast - by Jadeloli on Polyvore.com

Going to the coast soon with friends. WHICH WILL BE FANTASTIC. Just to get away from everything and relax before starting uni again the next week.
So far this week has been stressful and unexciting.
Things have been bad for not just me but those around me - but positive thoughts will scare away these big bad black clouds above our worlds.
So far i've had a pretty amazing weekend, on friday night i just relaxed and had a mate or two over to just chill with me, while on Saturday night (last night) i had drinks with friends. I had a fantastic night! I drank Vanilla Absolut. With Lemonade :)
I ran around, i talked to people on phones, i spent time with a friend i miss dearly, i was pushed over - i have wounds on my knee and didnt realise i was hurt until half my leg was covered in blood. I climbed my car and laid on the top of it. I threw things around the streets. I smiled. I laughed. I forgot sadness. AND i didnt get sick.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend too.
I hope you found a little bit of happiness.
I hope you smiled.
Laughed.
Maybe danced to a good song.

These positive thoughts are fantastic.

On a side note - someone who agrees with me.
Gala linked this and now i link it to you.
Afformations

For all

2009-02-06T16:00:00.001-08:00

Things on my mind right now

- Tegan and Sara References (Y)
- Hurting and Hiding
- Being patient
- Finding and having courgae
- Smiling despite the odds
-" Can you get me off your mind? "
- Pointless hours making fashion crap
- Painting again - Canvas looks pretty
- How great it wud be if tegan and sara were my best friends.
- The shins are the only thing i can depend on
- Things always get better
- You waste your time thinking negatively constantly - you end up never giving happiness a chance
- New hair dye is exciting (and expensive)

We'll get you fixed up in no time - by jadeloli on Polyvore.com

Don't give me medicine

2009-02-02T00:12:00.000-08:00

The first month of 2009 has passed through and has left me feeling unexcited and emotionless towards 2009. What a depressing first sentence to a blog you say. Rather i will look at this sentence and see the potential that i have not reached yet. Things have been going very slowly lately. There has been much going on in this first month that have slowed and misdirected the by product that is happiness. But i am constantly striving for that better day. Thus i have created my monthly goals list; starting on Sunday the 1^st of February (I wrote this blog a while ago). There are 11 goals that i can accomplish in just one day and many a week in week out goals. But i intend to stick to them. They include stuff for my health, stuff for others, but mostly things that i want to accomplish. The feeling of accomplishment is one of my favourite feelings, you are proud of yourself, your creations, what you have achieved that you really worked hard for. January saw me sit on my arse, get sick, argue with people, winge ALOT about things which could have been handled better. I feel it’s a good thing to pick apart the things i have done wrong this month and really re-assess my life. It’s been a while now since i have sat down with me myself and i and thought through the aspects of myself i admire or the aspects i need to work on. People may say that i shouldn’t bring myself down like this, but to really know yourself is to work better at being who you want to be. I want to be kinder. I want to get the patience i have lost over these last 3 months back. I don’t feel as emotionally stable as i want to be of late. I really feel as though the things i am doing to my body play a big part in this. The more crap and junk i cram down my mouth and the slacker i become the more i allow myself to get angry, have a short patience and not like who i am in general because im not doing what i really want. I want to inspire myself again not sitting round waiting for it to happen. I want to kick myself into gear.

I have made so many mistakes in the last month than i thought or planned i would (not that you plan to make mistakes) I have hurt some people that i didn't realise i was even hurting. I have been incredibly selfish. I am now scared, scared that the damage i have done will not be repairable, but everyone is being so positive around me it's hard to believe in the negative results that are running thru my head.

February started not so well yesterday, a mistake made again. It's hard to pull yourself out of a rutt, out of habit. I give people advice on issues with their life all the time but never give myself the same advice. Bad habits i must fix will be fixed. Not for anyone but myself.

I will do better things.

Inspiration

2009-01-20T18:42:00.000-08:00

So i've been meaning to write a blog for some time - i constantly have ideas in my head that i want to jot down but have been to slack to commit to write them or even remember them. I want to blame this on being sick. I haven't been this ill for a while now and i get quite cranky when i am slowed down by a virus and pains and pangs, i have put so much off lately, yet constantly write down to-do lists in my diary. I'm still focused, i still want to work hard for what i want though - so don't get me wrong on this account. Although it has been a few days since the last time i went to the gym, my body is deffinatly on down time due to this headcold/stomach bug. It is now my mission to stay oncourse with my lactose and sugar free diet. It's killing me to feel this sick again not only for cold reasons but for back reasons and stomach reaons. In all honesty i have let myself slip so much since finishing uni. Just started going out more, spending more money on things that are bad for me. I have the inspiration, i have the strength and the will to fix things in my life. I am going to start focusing on these things and focus on getting myself to the stage i was at only a month or so ago. Going to the gym with louise is really helping this out. Of course everyone gets frustrated when results don't happen instantly - such as me still feeling ill. Sigh. What a winge of a paragraph - these winges need to be expressed to fully comprehend hidden potential - right? Haha.

I have some wonderful people around me though to encourage me and also to boost my ego which holds me back; it balances out eventually.

In other news:

My attempts at sewing have been getting more frequent. I've been getting really inspired latelty to try new things and to try making my own clothes in general. A good excuse recently is my boyfriends cousin's cocktail party and instead of me spending horrible hours at the shops searching for a dress that is 1. nice 2. a nice colour 3. fits 4. looks good and 5. is comfortable is much worse then the idea to make my own cocktail dress...one that matches my hair too! So off i set to Spotlight with Louise and found myself some nice blue satin material and not only that but assortments of ribbon and frilly material to make a strapless cocktail dress. With all this enthusiasim i set out and created the dress with no help over two nights i measured, cut and sewed together the basic dress. Luckily Rachel was in my reach on Monday whilst driving home from the Gold Coast and i lured her inside my house to help me out. ( i had no clue how to put in an invisible zip!) It went from invisible zip to darts, shaping the dress, making it fit my body properly and then the zip as well as some extra flare - adding frills on the top of the dress. Overall Rachel seemed pretty content working out this andthat and i am forever grateful with her talent and patience and expertese. My dress looks so freaking Fabulous! Im in love with it! I would post a photo of it up here but i don't have one as yet. I will however post a photo of the night with me in it!

Im also making a bow that matches the dress, it has a giant bow on it with sparkles and frills, Blue, black and possibly some white mesh soon to be added. So decadent! It will be gorgeous. Not to mention having to re-dye my hair. The blue has faded from my blonde a bit and needs a bit of a revamp. Not to mention my desperation for a hair cut!

Thanks has to go to Rachel for the help on this one. I don't think i would be as happy without her inspiration and assistance.

Overall,

Im going to get back into eating the right foods for my stomach or i will destroy my insides.
I hope you get inspiration and achieve your weeks goals -no matter how big or small.

Much love
Jade

System

2009-01-12T13:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Blog World, ;)

tattoo's are my mind's topic today.
I got my first tattoo last year in August and now im officially addicted.
My Tat is on my right hip kinda on the undie line his name is Batou for he is a bat.
I drew him myself and love him immensly, i am obsessed with Batman and have been since i was little - i love the comics, the cartoons, the movies, anything associated with it (excpet for pointy chin batman - he's not so great) - So i drew myself my own bat and he is so very me and so very great. But my other hip is lonely so i really am considering drawing a robin and getting it done on the other side a bat and robin...Get it? ;) Pretty lame right? Everyone seems to think so. But i think the idea is quirky and very me. So the possibilities are high!

I also want to invest some serious time into designing a leg piece about 25 cm in height and 20 cm long in colour. I have drawn up some beautiful portrait's of some Zombie girls, but im not too sure if that what i want to go for now. I do but i don't. I know that im going to have it in a very tattoo style and in vibrant beautiful colours. But this one will take a while. Someone who inspires me constantly, and has for many many many MANY years now is GlitterSniffer aka Tegan Coddington from WA Perth. Check it

So tattoo's have really been on my mind lately, especially seeing as a close friend is finally deciding to get her's inked on her too. Which will be awesome! As well as it being something drawn by her for herself - there is nothing so much more rewarding in the tatooing world i do believe.

So i'm officially on the prowl for ides and little ideas to get me started!

In other news, i had a fantastic weekend! Hope yours went wonderfully too!
I spent saturday day doing stuff just for me, seeing my boy, my radio show which entailed the a-z of Jades library then to come home gets dressed up and go out with some of my favourite people! We danced all night long and i drank alot of vodka and purple drinks! It was fantastic! I did only get a few hours sleep however to go straight to work and push on through the day witha slight hang over. But i ended up curled up on the couch with my love so all in all i had a fantastic weekend. The way they should be hay?

Im off now to create a new cocktail dress for a party, im making a blue strapless dress with some old school material on the stop with some sparkles maybe for Australia day long weekend.
My hair will match my dress - but oh well!

One love.

DAFT

2009-01-09T15:22:00.000-08:00

TODAY: WHY NOT?

Yes a blog again! ALREADY!?

I have been awake for about 2 hours and the rush is already on!
Having been to the doctors, bought stocking and nails for tonight as well as working for about 2 minutes it is going to be a good day! ;) I was rostered on for work today, to be told they stuffed the roster and i am wanted tomorrow...even though i plan to be hung over from a great night out i will get double time and i need that money! SO WHY NOT!

they are going to be a bit shocked when they see me tomorrow morning. Very Very amusing.

As most people in my life know, i have a radio show 3 times a week, i have decided that i should start making a pod cast for it! I can take the shows i've done and create pod casts for those that always ask! Great way to expand hey!
Not only that i will be adding weekly or sometimes more than weekly - playlists of my shows. To keep you up to date ;)
WHY NOT!

Gosh im in a good mood! even though i deffinetly need more sleep.

As i have a new addiction i have a new folder in my toolbar named appropriatly ' If I had a Credit Card'..This weeks additions being

Spehora - I'm not very talented at using fake eyelashes, but these gorgeous things i would learn! I really want feather eyes and to then do an awesome photo shoot!
KittyStar - OMG I WANT AWESOME CAMERAS LIKE THESE!
IF ONLY they had my size i would buy these INSTANTLY
This - hell yes i really want one and it's in Brisbane too! :)

That's it so far - the rest are fairly old links.

TODAY:
I'm going to treat myself
Feel good
Have some Me time
Clean up my room - throw out the unnessecary stuff!

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND. Enjoy it. Saturday's are for fun! ;)

anchor

2009-01-09T03:02:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to: Andre 3000: The Love Below
Honestly this album is one of the best albums ever created, it is internationally recognised as one of the most comprehensive albums (beat wise etc). I don't know much about music, but i know that fact.
Yep a bunny - because Gala's blog reminded me how much i miss
my bunny & how much i want a new fluff ball to love

So lately my happy buzz has been on holidays.
Ive been happy for so long i forgot how it feels to just want to sit and be quiet and contemplative.
Everyone needs that time. Time for themselves, for evaluation, for recooperation. I havent had that sort of time in so long. Hopefully with joining the gym and working out i can sweat out all these negative vibes - it usually works. Why not join your local PCYC - it's hell cheap and also small and usually pretty quiet, PLUS the money is going to something worth while! :)

That's my helpful hint!
Joining the gym was my goal for January & seeing as it is already complete i have decided the next goal - to be completed before the end of Febuary - is to make my new dress! I have been hanging to sew it up for ages! I got the call the other day to tell me it is all ready for pick up. But now i am keen to make some more stuff while im at it. I need new clothes for uni anyway! :)

Today i set myself a list of things today before the night is out. Work and radio are out of the way now and im sitting at home cleaning my desk - well not yet - and sorting out my subjects for the first semester of uni. And soon i shall clean my room - that usually cheers me up. Ever feel like if your room was cleaner your life and mood will be too? I feel that constantly; even though im one of the messiest people i know. So im chilling with a coffee ... or two to get me through this list. Im determined to finish it and just relax while im at it too. I've had a fairly uneventful day - work was rather bland but what can i expect working in retail.

Photo by melekkoncuykoruklu

Someone, very special, just said this to me

" Its nice to have nice things but at the end of days the only thing you take with you are memories, so gather many."

We were talking about traveling and were he has been. That is the most inspiring thing anyone has said to me in weeks. It's weird how one moment life is just quiet and still with no great expecations and BAM a sentence is said and your whole outlook changes.

One day i will:

Tavel the world - whereever i want to go i will go! I will work hard.
Get paid for my Radio talents!
Go to massive Music festivals over seas

Thats all i want right now. But this list is ever changing and ever growing.

Also a though that has been running through my brain of late is how one moment someone is there and the next they aren't.
I can't walk out the door without telling me parents i love them.
I don't want the last thing i say to someone to have been hurtful.
I don't want the last memory to be sore or sad.
I don't want to leave someone to move on or otherwise and have to hang on to the one thing i should've said, or the one thing i shouldn't have.

These thoughts make me remind myself how much i must love life, i must love the day when i wake, the people i meet. Not forced. But just doing it naturally. Having that focus in 2008 has really shaped me and who i am. And it must carry on through 2009 no matter what. I enjoyed 2008 completly and utterly and i intend to make the most of 2009 too.

Tilt (really number 9)

2009-01-08T15:28:00.000-08:00

so far in this thursdays loves:

Avacado - fucking great
potato needs a mention too...best food ever! just ask dan and me on our philosphy
good days at work
Raplh polo jumpers..stolen from gorgeous boyfriend with style lol
Nutrient water - dragon fruit is for endurance...to get my muscles and brain going again after this arvos work out...see below
Joining the PCYC Gym - ive been meaning ot do it for ages, and i mad eit a january goal which is now completed. I dragged Louise in for teh Haul as well, so now we are guna excercise our tiny buttts off! Not only does going to the gym a great way to release tension, it releases endorphins and makes you feel good and happy. And i need some release of happiness lately
Sexy pirate undies
Its not relaly a good thing BUT the guy i ran my car into - its only going to cost me 700 dollars! PHEW thank goodness for that! Im rather happy about that. PLUS i have that money already and extra to blow too...or maybe just save and pay the otehr two cars my parents have bougt me off.
Online shopping - its makes me feel creative and have a want to shop and treat myself
GTA4 - fuck yeah its the best i sat for a good 6 or 7 hours playing it the other day
new anime! (thanks to tom) ALSO nearly completing my Hayo Miyazaki set! YAY for awesome old japanese dude.
Having uplifting and nurturing conversations with Station Boss Sonia - who tell sme im their next success and im fanatastic - THANKS SONIA!
Target singlets. they fit me perfectly.
Blue hair - it just keeps getting on the tilt list i re dyed it blue and i look fanastic.

ONE LOVE. Seen

I know it seems a bit ridiculous that im only posting this, but im off to work now!
Cheers!

Get-Set...GO

2009-01-04T13:28:00.000-08:00

Entry One: (written) 5^th of January

I decided it was time to create a space for blogging instead of Myspace and this place seemed like a good place to start; My mate Louise has a blog here, so now i can keep updated and what-not. Another reason for creating this blog was to keep a track of 2009. Usually i keep a diary but i have become insanely slack with writing and throughout my first year of uni i have become a lot more dependent upon my laptop and in the last few weeks a bit addicted to some websites. More so in the last few months i have checked my emails every 5-15 minutes; emails from friends, the boyfriend, and general subscriptions and the radio station i volunteer at. I am a complete follower of my laptop, it feels like a confident and 2^nd limb to me since getting it a year ago – i really don’t care how pathetic that sounds nor how sad for my generation and the ones that follow, technology has taken over and that’s that. We are a sad species that we depend upon technology, google, wikapedia compared to our senses and knowledge that should be within our brains at birth.

On that note; an anime which really pushes this topic more is Arjuna (Compliments to Tom – my boyfriend for this one) About this highschool girl who become the avatar for time and realises everything we consume is a twisted disgusting version, that everything should be organic and our bodies are sick... sorta thing. It's diffucult to explain. But go watch it and enviro's out there, you will love it

Carrying on...

Inspired to create a blog here from frustrating of Myspace and actually writing in a diary as well as reading all random blogs from around the place and my dear friend Louise also i shall begin with the last few days of 2009. Maybe even New Years Eve. It was a rather monumental NYE this time around, 2008 consisted of wonderful events, new friends, old friends, inspiration, courage, confidence and so much more. So what better way to celebrate then have my favourite people come to my place for a few drinks and whatever we felt like at the time. It was a great night around 8 of us just drank, talked and laughed all night long until i couldn’t take sleep deprivation much longer and kippered out. The first day of 2009 was spent making pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast, drinks all morning, sitting around my lounge room playing GTA4 on PS3 until we were hungry again and the girls and I climbed into a car and purchased $84.95 of Hungry Jacks. Only for the whole day to fly by, clean the house and kick everyone out to pack my bag with Tom head to his house and have dinner with his wonderful older brother. The next morning we went to the airport to see Marc (his older brother) off. Then to head to a boat and finally for the first time in our relationship over to Moreton; it’s only taken us nearly a year and a half to make it there. For the last 3 days I have spent it in a beach house with Tom and his uncle drinking homemade beer, swimming, walking, eating and reading. It was extremely relaxing! I love Moreton I’ve decided, not just Moreton but also a few other place I have been in the last year – including Gold coast Currumbin, Fraser etc. Moreton is a pretty special place for Tom so it was good to see him just stop thinking and relax. (He is currently on the couch next to me playing MGS4 just relaxing before he starts work tomorrow – also MGS4 is “apparently” his life hahah or something along those lines. Pretty much he is a walking genious at this game. Sounds like a nerd? Well kinda. But i am a massive nerd so be warned; although pretty much my friends will read this and thats it.

It is now the 5^th day of 2009 and i am currently sunburnt, relaxed and drinking a beer. I’d have to say it’s been fantastic already. Having had my phone turned off for 4 days now I have had no one bother me...directly. There were many MANY MANY messages, voicemail and otherwise, left on my phone when I turned it on. Some sweet, some harsh, some sad, some pathetic, some rude, BUT life goes on ...so wonderfully. Last year i tried my hardest, constantly, to reinforce positive thoughts and attitudes every day. It’s surprising how you can change an outlook on life by simply forcing your thoughts and brain on something that is either heart lifting and an instant smile. This year i intend to keep this up and continue to just loving the places i go or the people i spend time with. Happiness is all in the mind. To love yourself seems hard but to think of the one thing you like at the moment about youself is an instant pick up...i.e. Right now i can see my sparkly nails clicking away at the keyboard with blue flashing underneath them! It’s awesome, cause I’ve wanted sparkly blue nails for ages to match my awesomely blue hair! INSTANT SMILE MAKER!

That must seem like a rather random tangent! But these are just things that have been plaguing my mind for a while now that i feel the need to type down.

I have a much larger random blog i wish to write about a new obsession – shopping online. I have found so many GREAT things but i have no card to buy them with. So I am guna get myself a debit credit card of some such. There are some things i just need...or rather want desperately.

I will post this on a different date but it was the 5^th on which is was written. Don’t have wireless right now so i am stranded with no net in the lounge room...i could go and plug the computer in but im way to tired!

Positive love your way

Jade